Category: Cultivative Counseling Blog
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Time Outs: They’re Not Just for Kids, Adults Can Benefit from them Too
I’ve often had clients identify the absence of arguments as evidence that their relationships are healthy. Clients often develop goals for their relationships based in the belief that happy couples do not argue; and in my work with clients this belief has presented challenges to their ability to develop (and strengthen) skills for open and…
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What are Healthy Boundaries and How to Practice Them
Personal boundaries are the limits and rules that we set for ourselves within our relationships. These rules and limits support our ability to function effectively within these relationships and in our everyday lives. We often talk about unhealthy boundaries and set goals for developing healthy ones. Knowing what the characteristics of unhealthy boundaries are can…
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The 5 Love Languages Revisited
Valentines Day is coming up and that day has always been a favorite of mine, because I’ve always found joy in having a day where we are all (well, a lot of us) are extra intentional about communicating the love that we share to others. With that in mind, I thought that it would be…
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Responding with I-Statements for Effective Conflict Resolution
In a previous post I discussed the ways in which using I-Statements to express yourself may be helpful in preventing the escalation of conflict with others. Here are some examples of how to use the I-Statement template as shared in that post: The template statement is as follows: I feel (emotion) when/because (trigger). Here are some examples: I feel sad when I can’t…
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Using I-Statements for Effective Conflict Resolution
One of the primary goals of effective conflict resolution is to de-escalate a situation that has potential to become tense and at an extreme, explosive. There are many ways to de-escalate conflict; however I-Statements are effective because they assist with expressing your feelings without placing blame and triggering defenses. One thing I love about teaching…
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Using the ICED Method for Problem Solving & Decision Making
I find acronyms very helpful with remembering ordered steps and information. That said, I enjoy using the ICED model to educate my clients on effective problem solving and decision making skills. Identify the problem.Spell out what the problem is and why it is a problem. Create Alternatives.List the possible ways that a person could handle…
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The 5 Love Languages
A: “I don’t feel like you love me.” B: “What do you mean? I cook for you, I clean for you. You don’t have to lift a finger around here. How can you say that I don’t I love you.” Does this sound familiar? An important influence on our ability to build healthy relationships is…
Cultivative Counseling 